Is Giving for You?

I'm sure that you've guessed that you know the answer to the title question, even before reading this article. But I think I'm about to surprise you. The answer to t he question, "Is giving for you?" is "Maybe." I've done some posts on how we can all give back without it really costing us much, if anything. I think that many of us can give something, and can maybe even give more than we are currently giving. But that doesn't mean that giving money is for everyone. At least not right now.

During the course of my work, I've talked to a lot of people about giving. One of my recent clients described his favorite charity as "503 see me." It's the response I get a lot. He was joking and is in fact a very generous person. However it highlights the idea that many people are looking for just a little more before they feel like they can give to others.  I don't want to argue with this position, just explore it a little more.

In principle, I don't think many people disagree with generosity. There are a lot of folks working hard just to get by, and $20 out of their paychecks has a big impact on them and not such a big one on the charity. If this is the situation, I'm actually inclined to agree that giving money is not a great idea. I believe that we can't take good care of others until we've really taken care of ourselves. If you look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs you can see (and you probably already understand on an intuitive level) that our basic needs for survival trump our needs for social belonging, friendship, or taking care of others. So if that $20 means that I won't eat, won't be able to get gas in the car, or can't buy a new pair of pants for my kid who really needs them, or pay off that mountain of credit card debt that's threatening your security, then I'm much less likely to give it to charity. And probably to do the most good in the world, I should be working to help myself and my own family do a little better. That does not mean that those who are struggling to get by don't care about other people. It just means that the money might be best spent where it will have the most impact first, because we know that if we don't gas up our car to get to work, no one else will.

For people that are not living so close to the edge, giving might be more reasonable, but maybe still not likely.  Maybe you're working hard to save some money for your kid's education, to buy a new car, or to go on vacation. Taking some money out of this stash to give to charity might seem painful and seem to put you on an endless treadmill to work more to reach these goals. It might feel that if you didn't take out this charitable contribution you'd be that much closer to where you need to be, and you can finally relax, retire, or at least send your child to school. Giving is hard. But if you do have a little extra, you might actually see it as a luxury you can afford: giving to charities doing the hard work of making the world a place you want to live. This is where "giving well" comes in.  No matter how much money you have, if you've got any amount to give, you don't want to see it thrown away. Giving to charities that do work you really care about, and do it well, may help you feel that giving is a luxury, because you are participating and having your voice and values heard by putting your money where your heart is.

If you've got more money, then I would say that you have a responsibility to help the world. Sure, there are some greedy rich folks out there who want to hoard everything and don't care about the little guy, but my personal experience is that there are also some extraordinary givers out there who have hearts even bigger than their wallets.  In the words of Bill Gates, "I believe that with great wealth comes great responsibility, a responsibility to give back to society, a responsibility to see that those resources are put to work in the best possible way to help those most in need."

In short, the answer to the question, "Is Giving for You?" depends on several factors, including how much you have, but also on how much you feel there is abundance in your life. I've known many givers that have little and find a way to give joyfully. It isn't always money, but their gifts were always meaningful. One thing I can promise is this, if your mindset is negative, and you give feeling taken advantage of, not much good will come of it. If you can give with an open heart, your gift will transform you.