American Ennui

ennui (uncountable)

1. A gripping listlessness or melancholia caused by boredom; depression.

I think it is ironic that many of us are lonely, depressed, bored, or suffering from a "is this all there is?" feeling that I have called "American Ennui." Ironic because there are also many of us feeling lonely, desperate, disconnected and in need of help. If we were more connected we might find that the answer to our problem lies in working with another person.


American Ennui is a feeling that we've heard described before and we see illustrated dramatically in the crash-and-burn lifestyles of celebrities who seem to have it all, and who waste it. I believe that it is largely because of a lack of direction, magnified in celebrities (and widely publicized) because they often don't know who likes them for them and who likes them for their celebrity status. It is the ultimate in feeling disconnected.


It happens to many of us in a more private fashion however, when we feel that despite our lives that seem like they should work, they just don't. The lack of real connection and intimacy, meaning and direction eats at us. We go to jobs we don't care about, work with people and bosses we don't like, feel undervalued, and don't tap into our creativity and inner resources. We end up feeling like we are living half-lives in black and white. Working to get to the weekend, and ticking off the days on the calendar as we go, just to have it ultimately be a countdown to the end of our lives.


We also don't have the same community connections that we have had in the past. Lives used to be much more interconnected than they are now. You don't have to work very hard to literally not leave your house for days at a time.


I believe this ennui could largely be erased by feeling that our lives had meaning through being connected to  others. It can happen at work through a group volunteer program, or through volunteering on your own time. Or it could be texting to give money to a cause, or cooking a meal for a friend that just had a baby, asking a driver on the side of the road if she needs help, or smiling at someone who looks like they need it. It could also be finding a way to share the hobby that you love with others. Whatever it is that connects you to another, especially to another that needs the connection too, helps both of you to feel better about life and more engaged in it. The more "light" that we create in this way, the more light there is in the world and it becomes a better place to live.


What thoughts do you have about this feeling? How do you see it in your own life or the lives of others? Describe what would make it better? Leave your comments here!